I recently listed to an episode of How Rude, Tanneritos!, one of the Full House podcasts, and found myself reflecting on the show. Full House featured three father figures – Danny, his brother-in-law Jesse, and his best friend Joey – actively involved in the lives of Danny’s children. While the show comically presented how the trio handled various challenges of raising kids, the show also conveyed a beautiful sense of community in fatherhood.
Throughout the series, Danny, Jesse, and Joey collaborated to raise Danny’s children. As the father of three girls, Danny could rely on Jesse and Joey during tough times. Not only did all three ensure that there was food on the table but they also actively listened to the kids’ problems, loved them, instilled lessons on morality, and led by example. While their situation was different than most households, they still modeled what social and emotional support between adult male parental figures looked like.
Growing up, I didn’t witness the father figures present in my life engage with other dads about childcare or emotional support; those discussions were either limited to moms or non-existent. One day, I hope to become a father. When that time comes, I don’t want it to be an isolating experience. Ideally, I would have a community of parents to discuss both the practical aspects of parenthood including how to change a diaper or how to give my child “the talk” as well as the emotional aspects such as navigating parental anxiety and worry.
This is why I find the work that Brian Anderson, the co-founder of Fathering Together, is doing to be inspirational. In a recent interview, I had the pleasure of learning about his non-profit, dedicated to transforming dads into positive change agents. With over 150,000 dads in their network, Brian and his team are reshaping the landscape of fatherhood.
When I asked Brian how dads can prepare for fatherhood, he stated that many dads tend to resort to the physical tasks such as building a crib or getting the house ready, but often neglect the internal work of understanding how this child will radically change their lives. I appreciated that statement because introspection is crucial and often overlooked. Parenthood is a significant life change, and embracing that responsibility necessitates understanding what truly matters, identifying areas of life that need adjustment, and more.
Knowing that communities like Fathering Together exist makes me more optimistic about the future of fatherhood. We can leave behind the days where fathers did not ask others for help when they needed it and move towards a future where fathers are engaged caregivers surrounded by a community of other supportive parents, modeling healthy masculinity for all.
Multiculturalism & Masculinity Interview Series
Building a Legacy: Brian Anderson Shares Journey Co-Founding Fathering Together
In my conversation with Brian Anderson, Brian shared insights into his religious background, perspectives on masculinity, the journey of co-founding Fathering Together, and details about his book. I hope you’ll find this interview as insightful and engaging as I did. Check it out below.