The “Boys Trip” Argument
This Instagram reel was the perfect case study on the perceptions of masculinity. Read more!
I recently came across this Instagram reel from what appears to be a men’s fencing team training for the Olympics. One of their members posted a video he labeled a “boys trip,” showcasing their visit to a cabin where they engaged in activities like golf, grilling, exercising, jumping in a pool, and eating healthy foods. I didn’t think much of it until I read the comments.
Many of the comments were mocking the boys, stating that it was not a true boys’ trip. These were a few of the comments I saw on the video defining what a boys’ trip is:
“Zero booze. Zero gambling. Decidedly not a boys trip.” (8,554 likes)
“Where tf is the booze and cocaine” (810 likes)
Several comments directly or indirectly called these men gay. Interestingly, one commenter who identified as gay took the opportunity to distance himself from the boys in the video with the following remark:
“I love everyone saying this is gay. Haha as a gay man, this is not even close to what a gay man’s trip looks like. This is more in the category of Christian camp. Don’t bring us gays down, we are far from this lame behavior.” (3,514 likes)
Additionally, one person’s disbelief in the video led him to comment this:
“The overwhelming lack of beers leads me to believe this was staged as an attempt to show significant others that the “boys trip” is actually very healthy and tame.” (2,459 likes)
With my interest in human behavior and healthy masculinity, I found this comment section to be an intriguing case study on the perceptions of masculinity. Are there unwritten rules about what a boys’ trip should look like? Must alcohol, drugs, and gambling be present for men to hang out together? Are these elements necessary to secure a heteronormative environment?
I don’t believe men should conform to any prescribed way of acting. However, as an advocate for healthy masculinity, I prefer to prioritize our health when considering our actions. Are we harming ourselves with our behaviors? Are we hurting others with what we do?
It’s unfortunate that, as men, we often feel the need to put others down. Competition is frequently a part of traditional masculinity, so the need to “prove” one’s masculinity occurs often.
It didn’t surprise me that many men in the comments used this as an opportunity to put down the men in the video by calling them gay. However, it did surprise me that someone who is gay used this opportunity to put down Christian men. Even more surprising was the comment suggesting that men getting together to engage in activities that I would define as healthy or family-friendly was inconceivable and must be a ruse to deceive others.
I don’t know this group of men personally nor do I know the specific reason for their boys’ trip, so I’m taking this video at face value. Whether they are a group of gay men or Christian men or other, it doesn’t matter. Their focus on health and wellness during the trip shouldn’t undermine their masculinity. If they organized the trip this way because they are training for the Olympics, that’s impressive and should be celebrated. Even if their trips are always planned like this, regardless of training, it should still be celebrated. Why can’t a trip among men focused on health be labeled a boys trip? More examples like this can expand our understanding of masculinity so that boys’ trips don’t always have to center around “booze and cocaine.” :-P
Ultimately, we all see what we want to see in videos on social media and speak from our own understandings of the world. However, if we want to create a healthier space for boys and men to grow and live, we need to stop putting others down and start celebrating moments where health is at the forefront of one’s actions.
New Interview: Nicholas Kenny
I recently had the pleasure of interviewing Nicholas Kenny, a junior at Santa Clara University who is leading interfaith efforts to foster understanding and unity within his community.
Growing up in the multicultural environment of San Jose has profoundly shaped Nick’s perspectives. Our conversation ranged from his upbringing to his reflections on masculinity. Nick’s mission is to unite people by emphasizing that, despite our differences, we share many similarities that should be celebrated. Capturing Nick’s story is a privilege, as his efforts to create a peaceful world through active community engagement embody a key aspect of healthy masculinity.
Read the June Book Pick
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