Sikh Masculinity, Disney Pixar's Elemental, and more...
How does multiculturalism make the world a more beautiful place?
How does multiculturalism make the world a more beautiful place? I spent the past week exploring this question through a few lenses. In the posts below, you’ll find:
Interview
I had the privilege of speaking with Jeevanjot Singh Kapur, or JJ Kapur, recently. JJ is a storyteller and multicultural Sikh man living in Iowa. Our conversation delved into his rich cultural and religious experiences and how they informed his perception of masculinity. He demonstrates how multiculturalism makes the world a more beautiful place.
Perspective
Disney and Pixar released the film, Elemental, over the summer. I recently watched it and loved it! I noted a few lessons related to positive masculinity, including respecting cultural differences and healthy emotional expression.
Community Goal
My goal is to build a community of people who care about cultural diversity and healthy masculinity. If you can forward this newsletter to one friend to help grow our community, I would greatly appreciate it.
Blending Cultures through Food, Music and Dance as a Sikh man: An Interview with Jeevanjot Singh Kapur
SURAJ: What aspects of your culture or religious identity play a role in your understanding of masculinity?
JJ: To start off, all ten of the Sikh Gurus were men. The 10th Guru, Guru Gobind Singh Ji was a warrior. He established the Sikh faith by establishing the Khalsa. In other words, he created a physical identity for Sikhs where Sikhs kept the Five Ks. One is Kesh, which is our long, uncut hair. An unspoken aspect of Kesh is ultimately what crowns our unshorn hair: our turban. The intention of the turban was twofold: to disrupt India's hierarchical caste system -- mostly wealthy Indians could dawn themselves with turbans -- and second, to make it easier for other Sikhs to find each other on the battlefield. In other words, the turban was sort of this beacon of light. It embodies hope and joy and everything that makes me proud to be Sikh. There are Sikh women I know that keep a beard and maintain more masculine aspects of the Sikh faith. Balpreet Kaur is a great example.
SURAJ: Would you say that the Gurus taught you about masculinity?
JJ: In the stories I was told, Guru Gobind Singh Ji was known to not show emotion. He experienced a lot of grief in his life. I imagine because his four children were martyred, two were martyred in battle. His father was beheaded. In some ways, his family was his soldiers, many of whom were killed in battle. But, he was really known to be above it all.
SURAJ: Can you say more?
JJ: Valerie Kaur talks about Chardi Kala, the rising of spirits and eternal optimism in the face of hardship. That would be the beautiful part of the story for Guru Gobind Singh Ji, but also I think there is this hypermasculinity that is woven into the story as Sikh warriors, especially for Sikh boys. In the face of hardship, the story we turn to is Guru Gobind Singh Ji’s. So, there have been many instances in my childhood where I would be crying or upset about something, I’d be reminded a story of Guru Gobind Singh Ji. It would help me deal with that hardship, but not by learning what my emotions were but understanding that negative emotions get in the way of Chardi Kala.
SURAJ: How do you reconcile having negative emotions, but wanting to maintain Chardi Kala?
JJ: I’m realizing now that understanding negative emotions like fear or sadness or anger… I don’t think Guru Gobind Singh Ji was suppressing these very real emotions. I think he was in touch with those emotions, so that he was able to deal with the grief in healthy and productive ways. I don’t know Guru Gobind Singh Ji, I suppose this. None of this was taught to me, so I’m discovering it for the first time.
SURAJ: Is it important for you to find examples of healthy emotional expression within the leaders of the Sikh faith?
JJ: Yes, as sort of a lighthouse. We have a prayer room upstairs and every evening our family does a prayer. It’s kind of a beautiful, multicultural thing where my dad would encourage me to talk to God in English. Sometimes when I had a bad day at school, I remember looking at Guru Gobind Singh Ji’s picture. This really beautiful picture of him with his beard and he has this battle regalia. He looks very strong and it would get me through those tough times. In many ways, I turned to my faith in times when I was dealing with grief.
SURAJ: Thank you for sharing that. You mentioned earlier that you now have started to utilize therapy to help you as well. Can you share more on that?
JJ: Yes! It was highly controversial in my family, in my community, and in the Sikh community. I can honestly say I’ve heard many times from my family that they think it’s a waste of time. Part of it is there is this difference between technical and adaptive solutions. The technical solution of “you’re sad and grieving”, so let’s turn to these examples of Gurus. This isn’t bad in and of itself. But, some of the grief that I experienced… it’s complicated and it requires more adaptive solutions. So, I see therapy as a really wonderful one.
SURAJ: How has therapy helped you?
JJ: Therapy has been a way for me to practice emotional regulation that I didn’t get practice with growing up. I realized that has been something I wasn’t taught through my faith. Furthermore, that has been a tool in my toolbox that allows me to identify what I need. One of the things I’m learning right now in therapy is that emotions are not instructions, but they are information. Often, that information is a need. So, in a situation which I am really sad, sometimes what I need is to be alone. I’m an only child. I grew up with a lot of solitude and I need some space to feel things on my own. What my faith demonstrated is emotion as instructions. If we’re sad, the instruction there is ‘don’t cry. It’s a sign of weakness.’ So, it almost stops us or turns us to story. So, in the story of Guru Gobind Singh Ji, he doesn’t delve into what is the information contained in this emotion. That is where the world of psychotherapy has benefited me. It supplements what I learned in my faith.
Disney Pixar’s Elemental Teaches Us About Diversity & Emotion Expression
In the enchanting world of Disney and Pixar’s film Elemental, where elements like fire, water, earth, and air come to life, we are immersed in a captivating story of cultural diversity, emotional expression, and the power of human connection. Set in Element City, the film introduces us to Ember, a spirited fire girl, and Wade, an expressive water guy.
Ember, born to immigrant parents from Fireland, navigates the complexities of cultural adaptation and personal fulfillment. Her family’s journey to Element City, in search of a better life, mirrors the struggles of many real-life immigrants who seek refuge and opportunity in foreign lands. As the daughter of immigrants, Ember’s desire to repay her parents for their sacrifices parallels the experiences of many first-generation children.
On the other hand, Wade, a city inspector, was born into a rich family in a city that was built for him. Quite literally…water is integral to the city’s infrastructure. However, Wade still has personal challenges such as wrestling with the memory of his late father, someone who he did not have a close relationship with. Wade’s story underscores the universal truth that every individual faces challenges and difficulties, regardless of their backgrounds or privileges.
While fire and water may seem like opposing elements, the film teaches us that diversity helps societies thrive. For instance, Ember is able to plug water leaks from broken pipes and fix shattered glass through her innate abilities to weld and blow glass. Wade can start a crowd wave, connecting with an entire stadium to make one of the players feel loved. Their stories symbolize the potential of recognizing one’s skills and using those skills to strengthen a community. If it wasn’t for Wade, Ember may not have realized that her innate gift for glassblowing could make a profound impact in a society not inherently designed for her abilities.