I Visited the Doctor Despite My Pride
Men are less likely to visit the doctor, and traditional masculinity is the culprit. Read more!
A few mornings ago, I woke up with a muffled ear. It was as if I was elevating on an airplane, but I was firmly planted in my bedroom. “Why is it hard to hear out of this ear?” I wondered.
As one does, I turned to the internet for answers. Swimmer’s ear, earwax, infection, Eustachian tube dysfunction—an avalanche of potential diagnoses flooded my screen. I felt lost in the sea of possibilities.
Should I visit the doctor? Is this serious enough? Will it go away on its own? Maybe I should try a few home remedies? These questions spiraled in my mind for a few days, coupled with the worry that I would waste my time at the doctor’s office only to hear what I had already read online.
Despite being a public health professional who often advises others to see their healthcare providers when they have concerns, I found myself hesitating. Why was it so hard to take my own advice?
Some reasons men avoid visiting the doctor include not wanting to be an inconvenience to their doctor, fear of receiving a bad diagnosis, the “superhero syndrome” that compels them to tough it out, and a reluctance to express vulnerability—viewing the need for medical help as a sign of weakness.
Women are 33% more likely than men to visit the doctor. Additionally, 55% of men do not get regular health screenings, the percentage rising to 63% among men of color. Traditional masculinity plays a large role in this gender disparity.
I recently came across this Instagram video that hilariously encapsulated this issue. A married couple heads to the doctor for the husband’s appointment. The husband insists his wife does not need to come, but she reminds him that she certainly does. She is armed with a list of questions about her husband’s health, letting him know that she has no intention of leaving without getting answers.
From a young age, men are taught to be self-reliant, receiving messages that we should do things on our own. Asking for help can feel like a jab at our ego, implying we can’t figure it out independently. It’s why many men scoff at reading instruction manuals or asking for directions.
While the stakes are low for assembling a desk or finding your way to the nearest highway without help, the stakes are much higher when it comes to our health. Regular physicals and seeking medical advice when we have concerns should not be considered signs of weakness. We are not trained healthcare providers; we need professional guidance when it comes to our health.
Healthcare providers save lives by detecting issues early, and therapists help navigate tough times or unpack childhood trauma affecting our daily lives. Seeking help allows us to thrive, enabling us to be more present for our families, achieve career growth, and fully enjoy our interests and lives.
In the end, I realized the pressure to be self-reliant was not worth compromising my health. I decided to visit the doctor. It was such a quick visit and a straightforward fix that could only have happened with professional help. I left the clinic with my hearing fully restored, amazed that I had let the decision weigh on my mind for days.
To me, healthy masculinity means prioritizing our health and wellness. We can navigate the world as men while keeping our health at the forefront. Although my situation was minor, I wouldn’t have known that without visiting the doctor and gaining peace of mind. Seeking help didn’t compromised my masculinity; it removed an obstacle that had been preventing me from living my life.