How Amar Peterman Navigated the Performance of Masculinity

Exploring Masculinity, Christianity, and Disability with Amar Peterman

Apr 16, 2024

I recently had the privilege of interviewing Amar Peterman, a good friend and Indian American scholar whose work resides at the intersection of faith and public life.

I met Amar through our involvement with interfaith work. Our connection was immediate, stemming from shared experiences of navigating the complexities of cultural identity as Americans of Indian descent.

During the interview, we explore his experiences with masculinity through his religion, high school dynamics, and disability.

As we chatted, Amar’s story emphasized the idea that boys and men must perform masculinity in society. Boys are told to “man up” or “be tough” when they express vulnerability or told “don’t be a sissy” when they embrace a feminine quality. As a result, boys suppress their emotions, avoid activities or interested deemed feminine, and strive to assert dominance or control in various aspects of their lives. In other words, boys grow up into men who must perform their masculinity to gain acceptance and validation from others.

In Amar’s story, he highlighted how this performance of masculinity influenced the choices he made growing up:

I wanted to be the cool guy who plays football, is great at all these sports and is in great shape. All kinds of stereotypical things. I reached a point where I couldn’t be that. I was not going to be the star of the football team. Instead, I ended up taking music. I mentioned that I was on staff as a worship leader at the church that I grew up in. There were multiple types of masculinity. If it’s not the overly muscular football player, then it’s the guy who plays guitar, sings, and serenades. It’s this niche masculine role that takes place in evangelicalism. These guys playing worship music and women being drawn to their leadership and spiritual maturity. I picked up playing the guitar to fit into that mold.

As Amar delved into music, he realized that the perceptions of what is and is not masculine did not stop. He says:

When I was a worship leader and singing more frequently, I had a higher range. Traditionally, the stereotypical masculine voices are low and baritone. I didn’t want to be a tenor, so I had this crisis around singing. I tried to pitch down all of the songs that I was leading. I sang in a lower register.

The performance of masculinity can feel exhausting. Constantly striving to meet societal expectations on what is perceived to be “manly” takes a toll on the mental and emotional well-being of boys and men. Ultimately, breaking free from the performance of masculinity requires redefining what masculinity means to oneself. In terms of music, Amar shares:

Around college, I started listening to different music and realized that people can sing in higher ranges. It doesn’t emasculate you to sing in a higher range. It was formative for me to make that realization. It’s okay to not have the lowest voice.

Boys and men need spaces where they can express themselves authentically without fear of judgment or ridicule. When we widen our definitions for masculinity and embrace a more holistic understanding of gender, we can create a society where boys and men feel empowered to live authentically and contribute to a healthier world.

Find the full interview with Amar Peterman below.