5 Lessons on Leadership Inspired by Healthy Masculinity
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Many leadership systems were built around traditional masculinity. They emphasize qualities like efficiency, competition, structure, and discipline. While these are important traits, these systems often overlook the equally valuable qualities associated with healthy masculinity, which prioritize the health and well-being of the people.
Through writing this newsletter, having conversations with men about healthy masculinity, and exploring this topic more in depth, I want to share 5 key lessons about leadership—specifically ones inspired through the lens of healthy masculinity.
1. Balance Masculine and Feminine Leadership Qualities
In the book, Shakti Leadership: Embracing Feminine and Masculine Power in Business, authors Nilima Bhat and Rajendra Sisodia emphasize the need for both masculine and feminine qualities in leadership to truly thrive.
Inspired by this book, I wrote a piece for The Interfaith Observer, where I reimagined traditional masculine leadership by highlighting the importance of blending both approaches:
To maintain balance in leadership, drawing inspiration from Taoism, particularly the concept of yin and yang, can be valuable. Yin and yang, much like feminine and masculine energies, harmonize in their complementary nature. As leaders, we must discern when to employ masculine leadership traits such as logic and structure to confront challenges directly. We must also understand when to embrace feminine leadership qualities such as trust and harmony to nurture meaningful connections, spark creativity, and foster a cohesive organizational culture.
Adapting our leadership style to integrate both energies enables those under our guidance to thrive. It’s not about prioritizing one over the other. Instead, it’s about harnessing the synergy to lead authentically and efficiently.
Anyone, regardless of gender, can embody masculine or feminine qualities. True leadership comes from balancing both, ensuring effectiveness without losing authenticity.
2. Acknowledge the Complexities of Human Experiences
When I interviewed Scott Klepach, a bereavement coordinator and hospital chaplain, he shared a powerful story about disenfranchised grief—a type of grief that society doesn’t fully acknowledge. Here’s what Scott shared:
I was caring for one person who’s boyfriend was killed in a crash. He was in the hospital and didn’t know his boyfriend had died in the crash. At the same time, his parents were about to arrive to the emergency room to see him. They didn’t know he had a boyfriend. They didn’t know his sexual orientation. Another chaplain said he didn’t know if he could serve this person because of his identity. That broke my heart. To me, that defies what a chaplain means. What it means to be an actual loving presence, a non-judgmental presence with someone who is human and is going through a number of emotions, shock, and transition – in addition to the pressure of “how do I even grieve?” and “when will my parents accept me for who I am?”
Great leaders recognize the intersectional and multi-layered experiences people hold. Showing up for all aspects of their identities and struggles, like Scott did, is key to leading with compassion and empathy.
3. Practice Servant Leadership
In an interview I conducted with Brian Anderson, the co-founder of the non-profit Fathering Together, we discussed his approach to fatherhood through the lens of servant leadership. This style of leadership priorities the needs of others above the leader’s own, with the goal of fostering a more just and compassionate world.
Brian explained how he integrates this leadership model into his role as a dad:
So, a good dad is one who realizes that their life is no longer their own right as soon as their child is born. Even if their child is 20 or 25, there’s an element of everything that I do ties back to how this will benefit my child. If the task is a purely selfish act, I still have this logic decision-making tree in my head on whether I should do it or not. If it is a five-minute meditative moment or a guilty pleasure to unwind, I’ll do it. But, for those big decisions like vacations or buying a new car or finding a new job, it weighs heavily on me what the ultimate impact will be on my child. Will there be opportunities for my child to grow and flourish with this decision that I’m making? That’s what servant leadership is to me as a father.
Servant leadership is an excellent model when leading with healthy masculinity. It focuses on empowering others, fostering their growth, and sharing power through empathy and listening. By considering how decisions impact people and their environment, leaders create a more supportive and sustainable home, workplace, and world.
4. Be a Role Model for Future Generations
In a previous post, I shared an experience at the Atlanta airport, where I witnessed a man calmly help a frightened little boy who had been separated from his mother when the train doors closed between them. The man reassured the boy, stayed with him, and made sure they reunited at the next stop.
This moment reminded me that leadership isn’t confined to formal settings like businesses or stages—it can emerge in unexpected situations. This man didn’t have to help, but his fatherly, steady presence was a true demonstration of leadership inspired by healthy masculinity. He stepped up when no one asked him to, and in doing so, became a role model for others.
Leadership is often about how we show up in the everyday moments, especially when we are not required to act.
5. Bring People Together
I recently interviewed Jeevanjot “JJ” Singh Kapur, a Sikh man who led a digital storytelling project that bridged cultural and generational divides in Iowa, for an article I wrote for Interfaith America Magazine. Through a class, JJ facilitated conversations between students at a progressive Quaker boarding school in Iowa and Quaker members of the Iowa Yearly Meeting Conservative.
JJ’s dedication to bridging divides left a lasting impression on me. Here’s an excerpt from the article:
For Kapur, teaching this class was transformative. As a Sikh man leading this project among Iowans and Quaker communities, Kapur drew on his experiences of feeling “othered” and sought common ground with the participants. “I don’t know what it is like to work in a rural Iowa farm or to have a farm passed down to me from another generation, but I recognize that my Punjabi heritage is rooted in farmland. It’s rooted in agriculture. For me, this class was a practice of seeing myself reflected in someone else,” he shares.
In a world that is run by conflict and division, JJ’s story exemplifies a leadership approach that prioritizes community. He brought people together, cultivated spaces for understanding, and bridged divides.
Leadership comes in many forms. When it’s guided by healthy masculinity, it fosters well-being, unites people, and creates environments where everyone feels supported. It’s about showing up, even when it’s unexpected, and caring for those around you.
What lessons have you learned about leadership inspired by healthy masculinity?